Top 10 Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages in Nigeria

Checkout the Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages in Nigeria , According to Wikipedia, marital failure or breakdown refers to the usual process through which a married couple’s relationship deteriorates to the point where they cannot ordinarily rebuild their relationship. As a result, divorce or, to put it another way, breakdown of the marital bond occurs.

When compared to Westerners, the recent rate of divorce in Nigeria is low. According to the National Bureau of Statistics, divorce statistics in Nigeria reveal that around 0.2 percent of men and 0.3 percent of women elect to dissolve their marriages, and the majority of these partnerships are generally brief. Most divorce cases are caused by adultery on the side of a cheating partner, although this is not always the case.

Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages

Believe me, marriage is not as simple as most singles believe. It is not as romantic as it appears in movies. It requires time, patience, and understanding on both sides to keep it going. Most couples are unaware of the consequences of divorce and the devastation it does to their children; they just feel they can no longer live under the same roof, tolerate each other, and then proceed to divorce. – Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages

List Of Top 10 Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages in Nigeria:

Many factors have been identified as impediments to a happy marriage, which eventually lead to divorce. There is little question that many marriages may be spared if people intending to marry consider the following issues.

1. Inadequate Planning

Inadequate Planning - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Inadequate Planning

Many young people nowadays dabble in marriage without proper preparation. True, a girl is physically mature for marriage at the age of 14 and a boy at the age of 16, but physical maturity is not the only requirement for marriage. It is necessary for two individuals who are going to marry to be prepared for it. This preparation can take many forms, including emotional, psychological, and intellectual preparation.

They are required to understand what marriage entails, what is expected of them in terms of duties and obligations, and how they are to meaningfully interact to each other after marriage. In my interactions with many young men and women whose marriages have failed, I’ve realized that they had no idea what marriage truly involved when they got into it.

Unfortunately, many people who wish to marry nowadays do not have the patience to go through a formal marriage course or training. They don’t have time and would want to be married as soon as feasible. It is unfortunate that a young guy will spend 5 to 7 years in apprenticeship learning a skill or graduating from university but will not consider it vital to be knowledgeable about marriage, which is a lifelong commitment. This is why many second marriages are the narrative of persons who discovered the hard way the dangers of rushing into a first marriage without preparation, aimed to prepare them for holiness and the responsibilities of their new condition. – Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages

2. Absence of Courtship

Absence of Courtship - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Absence of Courtship

Many people marry without any courting and without even knowing who the other person is. The phase of acquaintance must be followed by a period of engagement lasting at least several months. This era allows young individuals to determine whether their first love, if any, is founded on a stable basis. They should have chats with one other and progressively become familiar with their common history and interests, ideals and religious views. This is required if they are to choose each other with the due diligence that such an important decision requires.

While sexual intercourse is reckless and entirely prohibited at this point, the engaged couple is free to express their love in ways that other unmarried couples are not. Thus, engagement is the time when two individuals who want to marry should get near to each other and find out things like their blood group, genotype, HIV status, and reproductive status by getting the appropriate tests. These discoveries are critical to the success of any marriage.

In Nigeria, some parents just command their children to marry a specific person for their own selfish interests, which leaves a lot to be desired. This does not allow for engagement or the required freedom for marriage. The practice of paying or receiving the dowry within a few weeks of a couple getting to know each other or being introduced to one another seems to work against engagement. It places the pair in the cultural position of already considering themselves as man and wife, therefore barring the door to a real engagement.

3. Lack of compatibility

Lack of compatibility - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Lack of compatibility

When I ask people whose marriages have failed, “what caused the dissolution of your marriage?” the answer I frequently receive is, “we are incompatible.” That suggests they can’t agree on anything, that they’re at odds with each other. One wonders how much effort they put in in the beginning to determine whether they were compatible or not. Physical attraction is one component of a healthy relationship, but it is not sufficient to make a guy and a girl compatible and their marriage effective. Mental attraction, emotional attraction, and spiritual attraction are all required for ultimate compatibility. – Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages

It is so critical that before two individuals say their final yes to one other in marriage, they study and examine each other’s likes and dislikes to determine whether they would be able to create balance and harmony after marriage. They should pay particular attention to each other’s temperament, which is a collection of inborn characteristics that influence human behavior subconsciously, as well as their character and personality.

4. A lack of transparency

A lack of transparency - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
A lack of transparency

Many people come into marriage with an ulterior motive. Any marriage that begins with insincerity is certain to fail. The greatest delusion in marriage is entering it with a secret goal and believing that the other party would not mind when the alarm goes off and the cat is let out of the bag. Some guys make a lot of lies about their employment, social standing, finances, and health in order to entice a certain female to marry them.

Unfortunately, some young women do not go out of their way to investigate or substantiate the reality of such assertions. Some women, on the other hand, keep important facts about their past or marriage from their partners. As a result, some people choose a marriage partner for all the wrong reasons and bring their selfish agenda into the new union, damaging their interpersonal relationship and eradicating any feelings of love. The result of such maneuvers and lack of transparency is clear: marriage disintegration.

5. Age Disparities

Age Disparities - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Age Disparities

Couples are expected to be friends first and foremost when they marry. This implies that their ages at the time of the marriage are major factors in the marriage’s success. A man of 40 years old who marries a girl of 15 years old may be in for a surprise he never expected. It implies that by the time the male is 65, he will be a “old man,” but the woman will still be in her prime, which is 35. Many ladies are hesitant to go down the street with a man of their father’s age.

More crucially, a male of 30 who marries a lady of 40 because of her money or the riches of her parents may be in for a surprise because she may only have a few years before entering menopause, with greatly diminished possibilities of bearing children. Again, many men who marry much older women frequently say that these ladies do not follow or respect them. – Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages

It is best to marry someone with a maximum age gap of five years. It is critical that the intended partners know each other’s birthdays. Falsification of birth date may result in a lack of trust and, eventually, a strain on the marriage.

6. Academic credentials, exposure, and illiteracy

Academic credentials, exposure, and illiteracy - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Academic credentials, exposure, and illiteracy

Many businessmen who never went past basic school choose university graduates as brides because they believe they have enough money to support them. A lady who attends university has been exposed to and absorbed a certain culture or civilisation. If such a lady marries a man who is wealthy but illiterate and uneducated, their marriage may not be harmonious.

Experience has proven that their differences in attitude, habits, taste, and discipline typically result in considerable stress. Of course, this is not to argue that every ignorant and uneducated shopkeeper who marries a university graduate would struggle to live with her. Nonetheless, it is vital to understand that this is a potential cause of marital conflict, and that this type of dispute has contributed to the breakup of many marriages in Nigeria.

7. Infertility and childlessness

Infertility and childlessness - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Infertility and childlessness

Childlessness in marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce/marital maladjustment and marriage dissolution in Nigeria. Given the value that Africans in general, and Nigerians in particular, place on children, any marriage that has no children after two years is probably in trouble. Even if the male maintains that he is unconcerned and that the childlessness does not bother him, the woman does not feel at rest. Even when the male is to fault for the childlessness, the man’s family frequently blames the wife. She is frequently referred to as “a guy,” among other things.

As a result of the problem of childlessness, it will be critical for two individuals planning to marry to have a fertility test. Experience has revealed that some men who are aware that they are Azoospermic, that their sperm count is zero, and hence incapable of impregnating a woman or fathering a child, conceal this information from the other party. Some of these males have issues that may be traced back to their infancy or adolescence. Some marry in the hope that the woman will agree to the pregnancy coming from “outside.” Azoospermia differs from oligospermia, which is characterized by a low sperm count caused primarily by an infection of the urethra, epididymis, or prostrate and is easily treated.

On the female side, it has been discovered that some women conceal the fact that they are not ovulating or menstruating at all from the other party prior to marriage. Such women subtly claim to be pregnant shortly before the wedding in order to put pressure on the groom to tie the knot as soon as possible. Typically, such women claim to have miscarried after the marriage. When either the guy or the woman finds this type of deception, the marriage typically falls apart.

So, despite the notion that children are given by God, a fertility test is still a human means of collaborating with God in that area, and will go a great way toward averting the sadness that will result from guilty neglect of it.

8. Unmet Expectations – Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages

Unmet Expectations - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Unmet Expectations

Some men marry in the hopes of receiving material or financial benefits from the woman’s family. The support to be obtained is the marriage’s essential aspect and motivation. In such a case, the love required to preserve the marriage is essentially absent. This expectation is frequently not realized, resulting in friction and stress in the marriage and, ultimately, its demise.

A guy should never agree to marry a woman he does not love and who is considerably older than him only because he hopes that the lady’s family would transfer their fortune to him through the marriage. This expectation is rarely realized after the marriage. Many failed marriages in Nigeria have resulted from disappointed expectations.

9. Infidelity in Marriage

Infidelity in Marriage - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Infidelity in Marriage

Another leading reason of divorce in Nigeria. The first quality of marital love is loyalty. Faithfulness is crucial for a great married life. The man and wife are expected to be faithful to each other in marriage. Having affairs with someone of the opposing sex basically implies “dividing” oneself, which finally leads to withdrawal from a genuine love connection. – Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages

This is why promiscuity, whether on the woman’s or man’s side, frequently leads to marriage failure. A marriage can only stay solid in the face of hardships and difficulties if it is founded on loyalty. As a result, anytime a man or woman violates the pledge to remain faithful to the other party by indulging in extramarital affairs, the germ for the marriage’s dissolution is sowed.

10. Inadequate Communication or Sharing

Inadequate Communication or Sharing - Causes of Divorce And Broken Marriages
Inadequate Communication or Sharing

A significant source of marital dissolution is a breakdown in communication. Communication has been referred to be the “lifeline of love.” It refers to sharing in its most basic sense. It indicates that because something has been exchanged, two people now have something “in common.” Communication, in its most deep meaning, is a sharing of the individuals themselves. Communication allows two people to get to know one other, their secret angers and humiliated phobias.

Small problems become major issues when there is no communication, and silence is seen as animosity. There can be no understanding and no unified action without communication. Without communication, a lot of dissatisfaction builds up, and one feels alone in their own world, with doubt and distrust rising in their minds. Without contact, the pair progressively drifts away, each developing new channels outside the house, until they are essentially two strangers sharing a table in a crowded restaurant.

Conclusion

It is a well-known fact that he who fails to plan, plans to fail. This also applies to marriage, since a good marital existence free of bitterness and rancor necessitates forethought, proper knowledge, and information. Things that can devastate a marriage and prevent it from being a lifelong commitment that is calm, harmonic, and fulfilling must be avoided.

Marital dissolution is a cankerworm that destabilizes the family and causes tremendous pain for the marriage’s children. Divorce reasons in Nigeria may be addressed only if we are aware of them and take the appropriate measures, because prevention is better than cure and a stitch in time saves nine.

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